a little sweet in the craziness of our life…

We moved last week!!! HAZAHH!!! More to come on that. But to say our life has been INSANE, is an understatement. I wanted to share a sweet moment that happened around 4 am on Tuesday morning.

Paul and I have just been “missing” all week. We’re stressed out, trying to get more done in the day than is really possible, and consistently disappointed when our expectations are not met. We, then, are short with one another and rushed in any semblance of “time” together. So I was feeling a little- blah.

Around 4 am Tuesday morning I rustled awake and rolled over.

Paul said, (in a very concerned voice): “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Me (a tad sleepy and not fully conscious): “Yeah, just sleepy.”

Paul: “You sure? Your face doesn’t look right, like maybe you just got some bad news.”

Me (realizing he’s sleep talking): “I’m fine, just sleepy.”

Paul: “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Me: “Sure, you want to hold me?” Paul then rolled over and spooned me.

It’s good to know that we can still be tender to one another in the crazy. Despite what our days look like, despite that I was super short with Paul and went to sleep exhausted and kind of upset with him, it’s good to know in our subconscious we’re not “missing.”

The laundromat is bad for our marriage.

so…

We have been doing laundry at the laundromat for a year and half. (Our lovely home has no washer/dryer hook-up. Something we’re praying to remedy in our next move, God willing January of 2015.) Not once have we left the laundromat in good spirits. It seems that we often start with a fair to good attitude.

Okay! Let’s do this!

Then, slowly the morale falters. It is almost palpable. We sit there and the anger, the frustration, the agitation, and the negativity begin to set in. Then right on cue, we begin to bicker and knit-pick at one another. While it’s great that we get to do the laundry together, and are “in it together,” often we begin to take out our frustration on one another. We begin to throw the other person’s clothes on their side of the folding table with little to no consideration. We begin to complain about our house and complain how the other person dried something they shouldn’t have, or didn’t separate them in the correct machines, etc.

Last week was no exception. On Thursday, Mickenzie met Paul at the laundromat between work and a late work meeting. Both of us were coming in hot, Paul took a wrong turn and wandered around Brentwood/Antioch for 45 minutes, and Mickenzie had a busy work day. Everyone was hungry. Everyone was tired. Not a great set up. The morale started and ended low. We finished our laundry and folded in almost silence. Paul went to the car, followed by Mickenzie. The silence was broken by frustration and further bickering. Mickenzie finally said, “This is going nowhere. I know we’re both tired, and frustrated and the laundromat stinks. Sorry. I’ll see you at home.”

We don’t usually leave things unresolved. The issues and frustration left in the laundromat parking lot were quickly addressed and resolved upon Mickenzie’s arrival home. It’s funny how we bring our baggage from the day into this marriage. Being around one another ALL THE TIME often offers us room to grow in grace and humility. We’re usually quick to address our conflicts and recognize our individual weaknesses. But when reason escapes us, it’s good to have a chance to learn selfless and irrational humility and love. And what better place to air our dirty laundry, than the laundromat?